The day after

Today. Today is the day after. The day after a troubled day, one of those days in life when all seems to go the wrong way, and plans, ideas and feelings are smashed all around, and you just can't get hold of the whole process. Until it's done, by itself. And as it came, it just went away, a hurricane devastating every single bit of matter and spirit, and then just leaving you as nothing had happened.

Today the sun shines bright, literally, the rain has been chased away, streets and lawns are drying in the warm sunlight, and you feel... empty. Tired, a little bit, slow, a little bit more, and astonished, much indeed. You don't feel sad, or angry, or anguished, or bad in some other way. You just feel as many of the things you've carried along with you for a long long time have been just taken abruptly away from you and thrown away. You feel as if all those things will never come back again, into you, and at the same time you feel estranged from all of them. It's that kind of "sitting on the dock of the bay"-feeling just watching thoughts, emotions, ideas, plans and certainties vanish in the sun. And you breathe, and breathe, and breathe, keeping your mind detached (as much as possible), keeping your heart calm, your emotions flowing, your faith untouched. Just observing. To be honest, you wouldn't be able to do much more now about all of this. So, just be the observer. Have faith. And be the observer. And breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 

Sitting on the dock of the bay

Rock that mat!

Does it ever happen to you?

You unroll your yogamat looking forward to your daily practice, your body needs to move, your mind to calm down, you just can’t wait to finally step on the mat and let it flow… and as soon as you get to the first Downward Dog it feels like it’s already too much. You feel tired or otherwise distracted, or maybe you have sad thoughts or tricky problems spinning around your brain. But you know you need to practice, you need to move and to feel the energy flowing, you don’t want to quit today, but it seems you just don’t have the strength and the focus to continue… And it was right then when I grasped for the remote of my stereo, put some loud dance and rock music on and began to practice again. I started my vinyasa, began with sun salutation and managed, while humming the songs, to get over the first sequence. My body began to move and to warm up and soon I didn’t feel tired anymore, my mind let go from thoughts and problems, and I just kept on practicing till I reached Savasana. I literally danced through the poses, sang through them, and when I finally laid down on my back I turned everything off: the music, the motion, the frustration. It was then when I listened in silence to my emotions, to what had happened, and realized: “Ok, that’s not traditional yoga practice, but it helped me through a tough time. I now feel revitalized and light and free. In total acceptance of what is and what has been”. It might have been just and impression kindled by the dancing atmosphere, you may think, and not a real state of being. But it was real. And you know what? I would do it again, “in case of need”, because in the end yoga is about wellbeing and serenity and feeling fulfilled and in harmony, and once in a while it can get a little bit off tracks if this leads you to regaining energy, joy and peace of mind. (Oh, yes, ehm, you’re right… I already did it again… but just once!)

Without  any judgment or any expectations: just let go and have faith in your sensations. They’ll tell you if you’re doing the right thing. And have fun!